postforever

by Ai fen

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1.
OH 03:43
I, alone, am the nation. Conspiring in my sleep. I’m afraid. they watch me to steal my dreams. I, alone - sum of nothing I, alone am the nation. Count down! On the carpet Wall 2 wall & white. Ink, used to make, my fingers SING. No more, no more. My house, Is in the center of your sorrow- OH ICQ & father says that’s inappropriate for A girl my age. I, alone- sum of nothing I, alone I, alone am the nation!
2.
1nfanticide 03:14
You~ll be so: Fragile and Fresh. You~ll have milky surrender on Your Breath. The grass is dead And you smell like fire. Our lungs are gone, with the breeze, Over salty waters. We’re castaways! We should drink, blood. I would give you mine, but I can’t leave you behind. You~ll Be so: Fragile and Fresh. You~ll have milky surrender on Your Breath. Milky surrender On, the breath I gave you. Fragile and Fresh You’re here because I brought you in, I did this to you.
3.
There was never A time, you weren’t there. You were always. You are always. And I know that you care so much And I know that you live for us. But the ways to show it, You didn’t understand. Oh the ways you showed it I’ve decoded in the sands… And all the things you did to me, and all the things you said to me, and all the times, you laid your hands on me. Well they all recede: I’m just trying to live now, Now, NOW But every once in awhile She comes to me & they all bleed (2x)
4.
As I Thought 02:54
I want to live inside Your bones Eat the marrow Make myself clandestine A home. I’ll visit you once a week Maybe less, nevermore. Refrain: I dreamt I Re-organized my skin I dreamt I I tore it off to let you in. ((( I guess I’m not as cerebral as I thought ))) Lust is lethal A slow poison, mmm-hmmm Freezes your veins! Like someone watching you, While you sleep. Refrain 2x
5.
Raw Air 04:01
It’s morning, But it feels like twilight The air so raw, AS THE BIRDS Start-to-sing…
6.
We are not, Going to meet after all We are, one burnout Too many Too LATE. This ANALOG, desire makes me slow Slow down, SLOW. slowdown, slowdown Slow, slow, Slow summer nights. Under meteor skies. Spent burning on the ground,. I want to see winter, Silent & Sound Feel safe in repetition Slow it down. We are not, Going to meet after all This ANALOG, desire makes me slow Slow down, SLOW.
7.
X in the rearview Get along, go along with Z We are static, Slaves to the feed. Blood Millenials... Refrain: Brain is driftwood Going with the flow P-la-la-stic in the water White noise, no snow Emoticon baby Show me what you need Let me see that space Hashtag lovers Cut to the quick. Blood Millenials… Refrain 2x
8.
Crimson 02:48
SNOW falls, For the 1st time, This year. SO WET, It melts As soon as it hits the pavement. I’m in BED, hugging my ribs to become Transparent, . Sail like a vapour micro-trash of your ether. Refrain: You say, That picture doesn’t look like you. You make, My vision go crimson. SO cold, I press my fist to my body. the moon STARES She’s wary of strangers. I’m REMISS So what if I shatter? BEAM subatomic get into the water Refrain 2x
9.
Refrain: Inhale exhale OUT Everything else is JUST A story you tell yourself (2x) It is, it isn’t It’s gone. The moon’s light. Borrowed on borrowed time. NOT MINE. Refrain 2x Silence, the true word of being Asleep, but we can know we're dreaming...
10.
MYŚLIWY 03:34
Uroruro: ponad wieżą czasem czaszką zderza się wszystko ze wszystkim stare korale ten talizman znaleziony kiedy upadłem Ai fen: Kiedy upadłam Kiedy...upadłam Kiedy. Upadłam? ponieważ jestem sama śmieję się z własnym śmiechem powieki rozczulone łzy pod kruchym lodem migoczą jak rybki w stawie wujka który nigdy nie jest smutny ty mnie nie znasz ale podoba się ci moja twarz więc ją bierz i uciekaj uroruro: AI-fen zadrżała ponownie Na obiad na wieków wieków amen

about

*postforever*

A meditation on growing up and being a biracial, multinational and millennial woman. Its title is an anachronistic, nostalgic gesture towards time, an immortal combat between reflections.

credits

released February 23, 2020

Ai fen
postforever

Written, recorded & mixed by Ai fen

Mastered by Harris Newman at Grey Market Mastering

All lyrics by Ai fen

Audio samples in MYSLIWY taken from: cykl/on/forAI-fen by Polish poet and performer uroruro

Special gratitude to D*
& all the other letters of the alphabet, who know who they are.

Released by Ai fen

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